Laura Dekker 16 Years Old

Laura Dekker 16 Years Old - Laura Dekker she from Netherlands spent a year alone on her yacht and traveled 27,000 miles to break the record set two years earlier by another teen girl. At 16 years old, Laura Dekker has become the youngest sailor to complete a solo circumnavigation of the world.

This is causing me concern on two levels. Did I not do my 16 year-old self right and what’s circumnavigation? Certainly, it’s around the world.

But is circumnavigation something more than that? Did she remove the foreskin of a Carp while she was out there? Talk to me, Google.

Talk to me, Google. (That previous line should be uttered just as Maverick uttered: “Talk to me, Goose. Talk to me, Goose.”) “Circumnavigation: To go completely around especially by water.”

Thanks, Lady Merriam-Webster! I don’t know that Merriam is like Miriam, but I want it to be. I’ve always pictured that Webster is just one lady, Merriam Webster, who knows so so much. And she hyphenates her name for previous marriage reasons.

(Writer’s note: Of course, I Googled this and sadly it is not the case. I will say, if a Genie presented herself to me right now and gave me 3 wishes, all 3 of those wishes would be that Merriam-Webster was one really cool smart lady.

Some might encourage me to rethink using all 3 of my wishes on this one thing. In retrospect, I would not blame them.)

When I was 16 …

The day-into-night before my SATs, I drank 11 ½ cans of Busch Beer. I got a 680 on my SATs. Combined. Obviously I retook them, but let’s stay with this for a sec. I was so sick, went to the doctor and it turns out I had salmonella poisoning.

I told my doctor I was absolutely convinced that it was from the Busch beer. He told me that while he couldn’t promise me that it was not from beer, he doubted that it was from beer. I’ve always been an honorary doctor (read: hypochondriac and Jewish), so til this day, I know he was wrong.

When my parents were away (and before I turned 16), I would occasionally sneak my parents’ car out for a ride around the neighborhood. You know … circumnavigation. I nicknamed their Buick “The Tank” because of the handful of parked cars that I hit while I was circumnavigating the neighborhood.

The day I got my driver’s license, I drove home and my mom was in the passenger seat. When I pulled into our driveway, the rest of my family was watching from the kitchen window. I proceeded to accidentally hit all of our trash cans that were lined up at the top of the driveway.

I was furious – slammed the car door, the house door and my bedroom door. If I may, Laura Dekker didn’t have to worry about hitting trash cans (or parked cars) out there at sea, so in my opinion, she had it pretty easy.

I went to summer school for Algebra 2. That might’ve been when I was 14 or 15. I don’t know as I’ve blocked out all math-related memories like some people block out memories of crime scenes.

I had a Queen size water bed. I didn’t lose my virginity in high school, but having a Queen size water bed in your junior year likely sends a message. Or perhaps I just wanted to get a feel for the ocean incase I were to ever circumnavigate the globe.

How cool would it be to go around the globe, but instead of on a sailboat, on a waterbed? Very meta.